From one end to another

That's how it feels like right now - that's where I'm going. About to set off on another journey which is a series of smaller journeys which aren't really all that small. Not short enough. And then there's the stops. The ... waits. ;D

I feel tired and ... concerned as I do before any flight. Fear of everything that could go wrong - see I'm not a good flier. Not solo, anyway. In company, I suddenly sprout balls - like some great miracle. And then it's not so bad in my head. The anxiety disappears. At least the selfish variety of it.

In India, they have their version of the Pop Idol format of shows - subtly named Indian Idol. These guys aren't "Idols" - they're going through the motions to be the stars in secret - singing for the Indian films. Not like they'll ever appear on screen or really be famous for their looks, moves or style, yet they've carried over this aspect of the Idol show over. I wonder if it's all a bit pointless for these guys. They're creating pop stars who'll at best show their stuff off in a dank studio somewhere in the recesses of filmtown-India. Bollywood. Whatever.

But it is impressive to see these people as it is in every one of these shows. One of the contestants who was ousted in an earlier vote hailed from a place that was no better than a slum. From deep down in my heart, I hoped she would win just to lift herself out of that place and the people she cared about with her. Things people just shouldn't have to live through. Poverty is ... no probably - it is the worst of the worst vices of this world.

And nothing can describe my hate for "Fear Factor" - The fucking sale of people's dignity for money. Fucking prostitutes on TV. Media-approved prostitution for prime-time viewing.

But I digress. Not that I had a point in particular anyway. Haven't been doing well, have I? With all the mindless criticism. Oh well ... notes to be considered. Need to get reading that book again. Haven't really done much. I fixed the phone - I didn't, but it was fixed at an approved service center and I'm so fucking excited that it's ... "useable" - I'll try it on the flight and see if it can meet my needs for comfort and so on.

I really should sleep. So I can fly in peace. Or so I hope.

I really had a point. I was going to send out some emails. But I've done that before. And to do so now would just be awkward in my head. Things are the way they are for a reason and sometimes I just feel like giving up. Why bother trying to take these stupid steps when it's all for fucking naught. This head just wishes it could self-destruct. Rest of the paragraph deleted for your reading pleasure. ;D

Till another day comes my way.