Calcium is born

Yesterday. Early in the morning. Well, early for me anyways - let's see ... how about 08:30hrs (+5.30GMT) - good for you? Oh a date - yeah , the 9th of March, 2006. So we can remember this day next year and the year after and perhaps even the year after that. Beyond such time, well, who knows, but Calcium would appreciate it. Perhaps more than I would. Or could. Or even should.

But birthdays are important. At least in this frame of mind that the society that I know is ... I'm lost. Start again - birthdays are important in this western capitalist culture. Sure, for the gifts, and so on - probably if for nothing else than for the gifts. But it's a chance for someone to be ... remembered. When you have a crap birthday, it's a real fucking downer, well to the enlightened amongst us, it isn't, but I'm not at that stage yet. I want a birthday to be one heck of a special fucking day where things work. Where it goes my way and a dream, it doesn't have to be the main one up at the top of my aspiration pyramid, just a single solitary dream from anywhere within the structure, comes true.

I'm asking for too much, I know. So I settle for gifts. That never really come. I can't really ask for any and I can't expect none either. It's just the world that I've walked into. You can't really ask for the gifts that you really want and the stuff that you weren't so keen on - well they don't do the best job of actually highlighting the day either. Yes, I know, I'm a greedy fucking sod - so sod off. ;D

Such positive words.

So I'm in India ... again. And it's new and old ... again. It's hard for me to find my place in this ... place, when I'm still me. I'm not someone new - the person that I aspire to be. Not that I've fairly tried to convert the self. But, it's all the same. The trappings of a familiar visit. I sit behind a computer screen hoping for some sort of escape from a world that I've come to so as to escape from the rest of the planet. Does that make any sense? If so, you must be my soul-psychiatrist. Contact me now for a save-me scheme that offers no financial reward to you whatsoever!

Calcium is hard to describe. I so want to tell everyone about him, but I can't. It's his visual nature that cannot be merely communicated in words without a pause appearing in the middle of the telling of the story of Calcium. Well not that I've figured out yet anyhow.

I'm getting my dosage of things that are good for me. It's a wonderful thing and I believe in my heart that when I return to "my world," I shall indeed follow these precepts for a simple and healthier life, but when I get to that point, it's going to come down to the penny that I'm not going to be willing to spend. As I've send plenty of times before - either they get you in the exorbitant costs of healthier food or they'll get you in the O.R. with the bill.

Till another message beeps in my left ear.