Not too much to say other than that there will be a short (hopefully it shall be just that) while before I return to blog. Not that I appear with any kind of major consistency. Nor does a ... notice like this bear any necessicity. But then what is the need for the existence of this place in the first ... place? Never mind. Too existential or virtual or unreal for me.
Totally Unreal? Is that the name of a track? Reminds me of someone. Just wish I knew the name so that I could apply it.
The track record states that it'll take longer than any anticipation can generally assume. Things aren't going too well. I'm negative when I'm not considered in life. When a decision is made that changes the course of my own actions and rhythm without due consideration for my own thoughts ... it's insulting. And then I'm just expected to go along with what's being done without the least bit of negativity? Fuck off, honestly. Emotional fucking blackmail. I hate it.
It's past midnight. I planned on staying up later, but in this old age of mine, I can barely manage it. Perhaps it's cause stuff goes on during the day. Maybe I eat less than I used to - less energy. That's a probability. Not that I think I'm honestly losing weight if I am eating less. Maybe I need to snort coke ala Kate Moss.
Now Kate ... yeah this is late, but ... ooh a rhyme. My two cents on this are that she's a victim. Not of drugs or of some stupid shite. But just of that industry. Cause you can bet your bottom dollar that all the CEO's and modelling colleagues - the CEO's of Rimmel and whoever else she had contracts with - everyone of these top-dude type folk - they probably snort coke and anything else they can get their dollar on. I highly doubt that they're all clean. So just her getting "caught" based on nothing more than allegations seems a bit fishy to me. A fall guy ... chick. A red herring. I'm going for the herring.
I will listen to some music shortly. It's hard to appreciate it completely when I'm this tired. And then there's Knife of Dreams to read. It's ... amazing. This is a book that I actually find difficult to read - because I have so much emotionally invested in the characters and the fates and paths and decisions, that I really feel the sickness, the agony and disgust at the events that would transpire against my own "wishes" as the character, if only they had the knowledge that I have with my view of the world through the 700 pages of the story. They might not make the same bloody mistakes. Never trust Aes Sedai. Never!
Till a lover finds his soulmate. Acquires. Becomes whole.
2005/10/16
2005/10/11
With this Knife of Dreams, I thee slay
To all those Shakespeaking folks - correct me if I am wrong with that title, but hey - that's the best that I can come up with at a moment's notice. Really stoked about this book, if you can't tell.
So I have finished my quest against the "God of War" - what a fucking epic of a game! I mean ... damn! To those who have completed it and also enjoyed the rapture which I now feel, I salute you. That was a fucking kickass experience and a half! Only problem is now is that everything else feels a bit blank. Last time this happened was with Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath, but then that was something else - Gotta say I'm fucking lucky - to have come across two unbelieveable game experiences in the space of a few months - with another one due in a couple of weeks' time. Damn good year for gaming - that's all I have to say on the matter.
We love our lies. My sibling(s) lie on a regular basis. To throw off the lowest class of people that would seek to follow their footsteps like shadows encrusted with bits of shit. I lie to hide my true actions/thoughts/motives. You lie when you need to hide or to step ahead of where you would be otherwise. What is the truth, but an un-lie? And what is a lie, but an un-truth? It feels more profound than it sounds - like I've stumbled upon something - a rock that could be a diamond or more, but I have to dig just a bit deeper to find something yet finer still. But for now, the idea is just a rock. A brown rock. With black specks - a fine black coat covering it - sticking to my fingers. It tastes of ash and dirt. Makes me cough. Choke too.
Solitude is prettier at night than it is during the day. When the sun is out, it is something dirty. Tiresome and vile. At night, it is bittersweet. Painful like a million needles pricking the skin - a million beads of blood slowly oozing out. But it's a beautiful pain. Or it can be, if the needles don't dig in any deeper. Sometimes they do, don't they?
To the post preceeding the one that succeeds the one that succeeds this. Success for all!
So I have finished my quest against the "God of War" - what a fucking epic of a game! I mean ... damn! To those who have completed it and also enjoyed the rapture which I now feel, I salute you. That was a fucking kickass experience and a half! Only problem is now is that everything else feels a bit blank. Last time this happened was with Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath, but then that was something else - Gotta say I'm fucking lucky - to have come across two unbelieveable game experiences in the space of a few months - with another one due in a couple of weeks' time. Damn good year for gaming - that's all I have to say on the matter.
We love our lies. My sibling(s) lie on a regular basis. To throw off the lowest class of people that would seek to follow their footsteps like shadows encrusted with bits of shit. I lie to hide my true actions/thoughts/motives. You lie when you need to hide or to step ahead of where you would be otherwise. What is the truth, but an un-lie? And what is a lie, but an un-truth? It feels more profound than it sounds - like I've stumbled upon something - a rock that could be a diamond or more, but I have to dig just a bit deeper to find something yet finer still. But for now, the idea is just a rock. A brown rock. With black specks - a fine black coat covering it - sticking to my fingers. It tastes of ash and dirt. Makes me cough. Choke too.
Solitude is prettier at night than it is during the day. When the sun is out, it is something dirty. Tiresome and vile. At night, it is bittersweet. Painful like a million needles pricking the skin - a million beads of blood slowly oozing out. But it's a beautiful pain. Or it can be, if the needles don't dig in any deeper. Sometimes they do, don't they?
To the post preceeding the one that succeeds the one that succeeds this. Success for all!
2005/10/08
This sounds like how I feel
Certain songs - a short post this - inspire emotions. As you must already know. This was on the walk home. It was fairly dark. I feel quite miserable inside. And I'm listening to "Schism." Now I learn the deep sadness that is locked within that song. For me at least. The eloquence of of the words that I had compiled in my mind is lost now. But ... no ... now, I feel this sharp pain. The dark sorrow of times past and of the present mixed into one.
There are songs of blind rage - "No, You Don't" springs to mind - music blaring in ears through cheap headphones - ears that will ring for two weeks hence. Eyes that are on the verge of tears that aren't there.
Happy songs of the most lamentable lonliness. "Devil in New Jersey City."
I feel weak and pained right now and wish I could hide. This is the clearest and most truth one will ever get from me in one quick go.
There are songs of blind rage - "No, You Don't" springs to mind - music blaring in ears through cheap headphones - ears that will ring for two weeks hence. Eyes that are on the verge of tears that aren't there.
Happy songs of the most lamentable lonliness. "Devil in New Jersey City."
I feel weak and pained right now and wish I could hide. This is the clearest and most truth one will ever get from me in one quick go.
2005/10/06
Midnight Financing Whiplash
MFW ... I'll leave it at that.
Actually, that's inordinately appropriate. The number of people that I could refer to using that acronym, though replaced with more ... expletive-y words, is quite large. ;D
Because of the way my browser is set up, whenever I use any normal keyboard shortcuts for moving quickly between words, it launches iTunes. So unintentionally I get to listen to some music. If the fates have me launch a program without intending to do so and if it isn't all that bad, why the fuck not, right?
Another day passes me by. What's next? Anything interesting? I suppose I should take charge and lead my life in some direction of random curiosity. Rather than waiting for the random to take charge of me and lead me astray.
Wearing these absolutely wonderful anti-glare glasses. Yeah, it may sound real and proper dorkish to be wearing such things, but it's true - they fucking work. Staring at computer (and TV screens) for extended periods is no longer a strain and headache producing activity. Strange how it seems like it's the random purchases in life that seem to work best. I think I picked these up for 2 bucks cause they were on sale from work. The same way I got my first iPod. And now I don't think I'd want to go without an iPod. Yeah, a bit too expensive to be a random purchase, but that it was. And the stereo.
Story of my life - moment of my life, I mean. Saturday morning with the sun sneaking through the blinds as I lazily lie in bed. Turning on a stereo (which was a random purchase too) to play Dredg "Same Ol' Road" - the bass turned up high enough to make my bed frame rumble. This was my moment of heaven.
There have been others. Of course. It would be an all too bland life if there weren't. There will be more. Soon enough.
Subway wasn't special today. Too crowded in the afternoon to be appreciated as a random sub buyer. Sub connoisseur. Best time to go is in the morning. In this town at least - where no one really thinks of them for a breakfast meal. Not that it's particularly healthier to eat there over the McDonald's or KFC's of the world. But it's still a nice place to be and to go. I think.
I'll end this for this moment. Just this moment and not another.
Actually, that's inordinately appropriate. The number of people that I could refer to using that acronym, though replaced with more ... expletive-y words, is quite large. ;D
Because of the way my browser is set up, whenever I use any normal keyboard shortcuts for moving quickly between words, it launches iTunes. So unintentionally I get to listen to some music. If the fates have me launch a program without intending to do so and if it isn't all that bad, why the fuck not, right?
Another day passes me by. What's next? Anything interesting? I suppose I should take charge and lead my life in some direction of random curiosity. Rather than waiting for the random to take charge of me and lead me astray.
Wearing these absolutely wonderful anti-glare glasses. Yeah, it may sound real and proper dorkish to be wearing such things, but it's true - they fucking work. Staring at computer (and TV screens) for extended periods is no longer a strain and headache producing activity. Strange how it seems like it's the random purchases in life that seem to work best. I think I picked these up for 2 bucks cause they were on sale from work. The same way I got my first iPod. And now I don't think I'd want to go without an iPod. Yeah, a bit too expensive to be a random purchase, but that it was. And the stereo.
Story of my life - moment of my life, I mean. Saturday morning with the sun sneaking through the blinds as I lazily lie in bed. Turning on a stereo (which was a random purchase too) to play Dredg "Same Ol' Road" - the bass turned up high enough to make my bed frame rumble. This was my moment of heaven.
There have been others. Of course. It would be an all too bland life if there weren't. There will be more. Soon enough.
Subway wasn't special today. Too crowded in the afternoon to be appreciated as a random sub buyer. Sub connoisseur. Best time to go is in the morning. In this town at least - where no one really thinks of them for a breakfast meal. Not that it's particularly healthier to eat there over the McDonald's or KFC's of the world. But it's still a nice place to be and to go. I think.
I'll end this for this moment. Just this moment and not another.
2005/10/04
Google your way here? I did
There was a link on google and here I turned up - not really expecting to blog, but so it happened to proceed. And this is where I be. Without any preparation or clue of what I should be saying - no general theme like I sometimes aim for. Ooh - scared yet? I know I am.
Wow! I really have nothing to say. It's been five minutes since I started this and I'm struggling to come up with something good to talk about. There were shit people at work today - fucking bullies. And more fuck-ups to generally aggravate a disturbed soul. What is one supposed to do?
I hate computers sometimes - when they go wrong, specifically, cause there's only so much that you can actually do before there is no hope of getting anything right. Cause it's just going to fuck up in the end. Or when it does, it' s like a kick in the balls! WHACK! You thought you were a big man, right? For figuring out how to work this shit? Well, you were WRONG! WHACK!
Need to write a book called obsession. The latest one in my steamy and saucy life (wow!) is Subway. The whole sub-of-the-day thing where one could save as little as 30 pence or as much as 60 pence and get a 6-inch sub for 2 quid. Whooptee-doo! And the people there. Was served by the happiest person ever ... ah, I've already mentioned this, haven't I? I really was taken by this. And I'm not easily impressed! WOAH! Look at that outside - A BLUE CAR!
iTunes tells me a new version is out. But there aren't any release notes. So how the fuck am I supposed to know why Apple wants me to download a new version. Maybe it's their way of putting more corporate spyware on my computer. I wouldn't doubt it. It's only paranoia when it isn't true. ;D
eBay is truly amazing. Needed something and BAM! There it was. A treasure trove of human communication - the way of the future will eliminate the need for shops. Just the major suppliers, distributors and the rest being traded on eBay. Like a farming community, only dvd players will still be made in factories by tons of folks managed by a corporate body, but this will all be direct to order for the consumer. Consumption may be taxed, but trade amongst the consumers will not. Limiting this meaningless human encounter within our shops to a far more acceptable minimum. Then no piece of shit people thinking they rule the world because they have five pounds to spend in a shop. HA!
Till the next random link brings me here once more.
Wow! I really have nothing to say. It's been five minutes since I started this and I'm struggling to come up with something good to talk about. There were shit people at work today - fucking bullies. And more fuck-ups to generally aggravate a disturbed soul. What is one supposed to do?
I hate computers sometimes - when they go wrong, specifically, cause there's only so much that you can actually do before there is no hope of getting anything right. Cause it's just going to fuck up in the end. Or when it does, it' s like a kick in the balls! WHACK! You thought you were a big man, right? For figuring out how to work this shit? Well, you were WRONG! WHACK!
Need to write a book called obsession. The latest one in my steamy and saucy life (wow!) is Subway. The whole sub-of-the-day thing where one could save as little as 30 pence or as much as 60 pence and get a 6-inch sub for 2 quid. Whooptee-doo! And the people there. Was served by the happiest person ever ... ah, I've already mentioned this, haven't I? I really was taken by this. And I'm not easily impressed! WOAH! Look at that outside - A BLUE CAR!
iTunes tells me a new version is out. But there aren't any release notes. So how the fuck am I supposed to know why Apple wants me to download a new version. Maybe it's their way of putting more corporate spyware on my computer. I wouldn't doubt it. It's only paranoia when it isn't true. ;D
eBay is truly amazing. Needed something and BAM! There it was. A treasure trove of human communication - the way of the future will eliminate the need for shops. Just the major suppliers, distributors and the rest being traded on eBay. Like a farming community, only dvd players will still be made in factories by tons of folks managed by a corporate body, but this will all be direct to order for the consumer. Consumption may be taxed, but trade amongst the consumers will not. Limiting this meaningless human encounter within our shops to a far more acceptable minimum. Then no piece of shit people thinking they rule the world because they have five pounds to spend in a shop. HA!
Till the next random link brings me here once more.
2005/10/03
Gardening in the streets of Athens
You see, I constantly wonder why I'm here - well not constantly - and not ... here, per se, but rather "here" as in this blogging place. To say something. I find this utterly fascinating. In case you hadn't already guessed that. Bizarre, no?
The mention of Athens is inspired by the latest game I've been playing and, yes to all the gamers out there, I know that this is quite a bit old so there's nothing amazing about it, but for those who haven't played it (and are above the requisite age limit in their respective countries) "God of War" is a guilty pleasure of an action game the likes of which no console game comes close. Yes, one could argue that Ninja Gaiden sets the bar so high that nothing could come close, but I would disagree wholeheartedly. For you non-gamer folk, just imagine God of War to be the best ... depiction? Would that be right? I don't know - well, think of it as the "best" depiction of mythological war. It's just ... fucking great.
So this week, the 11th book in the Wheel of Time series comes out. I am so fucking excited, man. It's like a moment to remember - I don't think there's any book out there that has spoken to me like the Wheel of Time books. Well, considering there are ten of them, it would have to be one pretty fucking big book. I mean - I'm asking for it from the LotR fans out there - but this world blows the saga of the rings out of the water. In terms of complexity and depth, characters, fucking epic scale. I find it hard to believe that no one has turned to lap this up and turn it into the biggest thing since the Ham & Cheese sandwich was first conceived which, by the by, is one of the best sandwiches ever. It's simple enough that you don't have to go through bizarre procedures of preparation. And, with the right and random condiment, it becomes something else. With ketchup, awesomeness. Throw in some mayo and you're looking at something good still. And you can even toast it and turn it into something else entirely.
I hate people who can't keep their word. On the smallest level - not even a word, but when you say that you're going out to do something and that you'll rush back, that you will come back, perhaps not with unabated haste, but at least come back sooner rather than hanging around returning hours later and then asking you to feed her fucking child when she should have taken care of it in the first place.
Reasons why I'll never be a parent. I can't stand them or their rotten children.
And then you're targeted when you don't meet your end of the "bargain" - I really can't stand some people some times - perhaps even all of the people most of the time. Certain folk, I would lay down my life for - whether they know it or not, no matter how much or little I know of who they really are. I don't know why. But others ... no. I wouldn't care.
I I I I.
Till another day when the cat crows.
The mention of Athens is inspired by the latest game I've been playing and, yes to all the gamers out there, I know that this is quite a bit old so there's nothing amazing about it, but for those who haven't played it (and are above the requisite age limit in their respective countries) "God of War" is a guilty pleasure of an action game the likes of which no console game comes close. Yes, one could argue that Ninja Gaiden sets the bar so high that nothing could come close, but I would disagree wholeheartedly. For you non-gamer folk, just imagine God of War to be the best ... depiction? Would that be right? I don't know - well, think of it as the "best" depiction of mythological war. It's just ... fucking great.
So this week, the 11th book in the Wheel of Time series comes out. I am so fucking excited, man. It's like a moment to remember - I don't think there's any book out there that has spoken to me like the Wheel of Time books. Well, considering there are ten of them, it would have to be one pretty fucking big book. I mean - I'm asking for it from the LotR fans out there - but this world blows the saga of the rings out of the water. In terms of complexity and depth, characters, fucking epic scale. I find it hard to believe that no one has turned to lap this up and turn it into the biggest thing since the Ham & Cheese sandwich was first conceived which, by the by, is one of the best sandwiches ever. It's simple enough that you don't have to go through bizarre procedures of preparation. And, with the right and random condiment, it becomes something else. With ketchup, awesomeness. Throw in some mayo and you're looking at something good still. And you can even toast it and turn it into something else entirely.
I hate people who can't keep their word. On the smallest level - not even a word, but when you say that you're going out to do something and that you'll rush back, that you will come back, perhaps not with unabated haste, but at least come back sooner rather than hanging around returning hours later and then asking you to feed her fucking child when she should have taken care of it in the first place.
Reasons why I'll never be a parent. I can't stand them or their rotten children.
And then you're targeted when you don't meet your end of the "bargain" - I really can't stand some people some times - perhaps even all of the people most of the time. Certain folk, I would lay down my life for - whether they know it or not, no matter how much or little I know of who they really are. I don't know why. But others ... no. I wouldn't care.
I I I I.
Till another day when the cat crows.
2005/10/01
Why would someone leave a comment like this?
Military issues content warning to combat-zone bloggers
By Leo Shane III , Stars and Stripes Mideast edition, Saturday, October 1, 2005 Some guidelines There are new OPSEC guidelines which have been put forth by DOD and the Army regarding internet safety.
Find out how you can buy and sell anything, like things related to music on interest free credit and pay back whenever you want! Exchange FREE ads on any topic, like music!
--
Posted by Anonymous to The Wild Beyond at 10/01/2005 12:33:50 AM
[Insert A LOT of swearing and cursing here - directed at this Anonymous piece of monkey pooh]
By Leo Shane III , Stars and Stripes Mideast edition, Saturday, October 1, 2005 Some guidelines There are new OPSEC guidelines which have been put forth by DOD and the Army regarding internet safety.
Find out how you can buy and sell anything, like things related to music on interest free credit and pay back whenever you want! Exchange FREE ads on any topic, like music!
--
Posted by Anonymous to The Wild Beyond at 10/01/2005 12:33:50 AM
[Insert A LOT of swearing and cursing here - directed at this Anonymous piece of monkey pooh]
Carnage in an African Wardrobe
Being the avid ... perhaps addicted gamer that I am, I face some difficult choices this season. With all the new systems on their way, I find myself unable to choose less than one artistic experience a week to indulge in. Yes, a videogame for those of you who don't agree with my argument for games to be declared as forms of art. But ... so be that.
Today's been a long and mentally trying day. No - not one of those days where the world, its dog and bastard nephew turn up to yank your balls. More of a ... too-many-things-for-brain-to-focus-on. Some things important, others not-so. Take the staff at Subway today - I was served by the happiest people on the planet this morning for my mega sub breakfast thingamajigger - this left quite an impression on me. I was taken. Infatuated by their happiness.
And then at work, well, more of the same old shit. Stupid people wanting stupid things. But more so with new issues of pride and human politics, which I try to steer away from, but find myself ever entangled within. The mind-games that everyone else seems to be playing ... I'm always playing catch-up or a game of guess-the-game. Cause I don't really have the slightest clue or subconscious care to keep up with these petty matters. Or so I like to tell myself.
I discovered today that someone had been searching for "Sexy Alice in Wonderland Costumes" and "Sexy Little Red Riding Hood Costumes" in ebay from my computer. A bit ... surprised to say the least. I mean, if I found a search for "Jenna Jameson's Greatest Bits" I probably would have just taken a look myself. But the costumes - threw me off completely. Still took a look, but ... yeah - unexpected randomness.
Till the next moment of pause.
Today's been a long and mentally trying day. No - not one of those days where the world, its dog and bastard nephew turn up to yank your balls. More of a ... too-many-things-for-brain-to-focus-on. Some things important, others not-so. Take the staff at Subway today - I was served by the happiest people on the planet this morning for my mega sub breakfast thingamajigger - this left quite an impression on me. I was taken. Infatuated by their happiness.
And then at work, well, more of the same old shit. Stupid people wanting stupid things. But more so with new issues of pride and human politics, which I try to steer away from, but find myself ever entangled within. The mind-games that everyone else seems to be playing ... I'm always playing catch-up or a game of guess-the-game. Cause I don't really have the slightest clue or subconscious care to keep up with these petty matters. Or so I like to tell myself.
I discovered today that someone had been searching for "Sexy Alice in Wonderland Costumes" and "Sexy Little Red Riding Hood Costumes" in ebay from my computer. A bit ... surprised to say the least. I mean, if I found a search for "Jenna Jameson's Greatest Bits" I probably would have just taken a look myself. But the costumes - threw me off completely. Still took a look, but ... yeah - unexpected randomness.
Till the next moment of pause.
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