It's hard to improve oneself when the habits that are ingrained in ones being are on the ... ingrained side of things. Engraved. That's a good word. Like lobotomized. Almost opposite, but not really - I suppose in terms of integration and disintegration - not like the powdery disintegration of Looney Toons days, but more of union and division without the grander aspects to it.
It is difficult, at any rate. There's communication as I know it - extremely flawed by all accounts. And so you try to alter it, but how do you do so without being fake - or at least sounding it, though in your heart, you're as sincere as you could be. You really do want to know. But it may not sound right. Confidence is what you've got to go through with, I suppose.
Enough about the self though - some things have to change there too.
Till next proper inspiration haunts this mind.
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